It goes something like this:
It’s a beautiful day. An attractive couple is enjoying a romantic picnic in the park. It’s the perfect setting for a dollop of propaganda. Have you seen these commercials by the corn syrup lobby? She’s licking a popsicle and offering him a taste. “Oh no,” shuns he, “it’s got high fructose corn syrup.” She tosses her honey-hued hair and bats an eyelash. “So? What’s wrong with corn syrup? It’s practically a vegetable.”
He caves. I think it’s the seductive giggles more than the strength of her argument, but that may just be my skewed interpretation of what happens where men and women and popsicles intersect.
“Corn syrup is fine. Moderation,” she touts, “is key.”
Ok princess, that one I’ll give you. Moderation is key. Moderation allows me to indulge in a sweet snack every day without beating myself up about it.
But her argument leaks. How exactly does one moderate when the sneaky substance lurks in every nook and cranny of the supermarket? It’s not as though we seek out corn syrup, insisting on seconds or thirds of those tantalizing ice pops. It sneaks it to our diets by way of soft drinks, cereals, and condiments. Crackers, bread and peanut butter. And just about anything else that we buy in a box.
It’s everywhere. That Snarky Spy of Safeway. That Trojan horse of Target.
So what? Who cares? Sugar by any other name, as the saying more or less goes, right? Is it really that big of a deal if my sweetness takes the form of honey or brown sugar or highly processed high fructose corn syrup?
Yes. It is a big deal. Recent studies have found that food items loaded with HFCS have unacceptably high levels of mercury. Mercury is linked to problems in brain development. HFCS is also blamed for the recent and drastic increase in diabetes in our country. That super-sized soda sits on the side of the meal pretending to be a harmless drink; our body devours it like a bag of Halloween candy.
Not that I’m picking a fight with Halloween. Let’s just call a spade, a spade, shall we?
Which is in fact my big hang-up with HCFS: Awareness.
Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that I sit down and eat my way through the kids’ bags of Halloween candy. A bad idea, sure. But I am fully aware that I have just consumed my share of sweets for the millennium, and presumably, I would make up for that indulgence with a nice healthy lunch.
You know, a healthy lunch, like a salad, a yogurt and a glass of chocolate milk? But chances are that the salad dressing, the yogurt and the milk are all packed with high fructose corn syrup. Which means in my deluded quest for health I have just consumed the equivalent of another jumbo-sized bag of m+ms. I’ve been fooled.
It’s not fair. I want full credit when I eat my greens. I do not want my veggie intake tallied in the dessert column down there in internal accounting. And I don’t want to unwittingly spoon this over-processed, mercury-laden, spy of a pseudo-food into my kids, like I did yesterday when I poured out their Rice Krispies.
It feels lousy to be fooled.
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Want more information about this stuff? Read Michael Pollan’s book, Omnivore’s Dilemma. It’s one of my favorites. Also add the documentary King Corn to your Netflix list. Two crazy college grads try to grow some corn, and get themselves educated in the process.
Daphne’s Tips at the Store:
- If the item says HONEY in the title (ie, Honey Wheat Bread,) it usually DOES NOT include HFCS. This is not always true, but a good quick rule of thumb.
- The aisles on the inside harbor the most hiding places for HFCS. Shop the outside perimeter.
- If it comes in a box, a bag, or a jar, take a quick glance at the ingredients.
- Nothing we eat should have 546 ingredients in it.
- If you want that Popsicle, eat the Popsicle. And enjoy it in full awareness.
