Ahhh, Vacation

Jul 13th, 2011

There’s nothing like it.

The crisp scent of ammonia in the morning.

The precious squeak of white shoes on linoleum.

The fluorescent lights and the beeping machines.  Nothing says vacation like the emergency room.

And this year, instead of wasting time with pedestrian trappings like sand castles or sailboats we simply unloaded the suitcases and the children and were on our way.

If you remember Jack Nickolson in Something’s Gotta Give,

then you’ve got a pretty good idea of how our first few nights at the beach went down.

We loaded up for the big road trip as planned, last Tuesday. The only addition to the car load of snacks, bathing suits and t-shirts was a bottle of ibuprofen for Dave’s unusual fever and stomach pain.  Funny thing; his appendix, which burst somewhere between Iowa and Wisconsin, didn’t slow him down a bit.  He sill managed a week’s worth of driving, basketball, jump rope and kickball games on the road out east.

The CT Scan tech asked me if he had a high tolerance for pain.   I think he just hates the idea of missing a game.

Understandably, Dave didn’t sleep well the night of the surgery, but it was not the beeping machines or the nurses in and out of his room demanding vitals that he blamed.  No, it was the screams of “STOP HIM HE’S GOING TO JUMP!” and “SOMEONE CALL THE ER, HE’S JUMPING!” that kept him up.

Turns out that one of the druggies from detox decided he’d had enough of the cafeteria food and thought he’d sail off into the sunset instead.  Hard to blame him considering the tantalizing view from the hospital windows.

Don’t get any ideas, dear husband.  My only wish is that you mend well and come back to me and then, I promise, we will sail off into the sunset together.

13 Comments on “Ahhh, Vacation”


  1. grace said:

    It is really nice of your family to single handedly make it your mission to keep American hospitals in business. You are all pitching in as every good citizen should! Other people waste their summers with beach trips and camp but you guys have the right idea. (We love you Dave and hope you are recovering well:)


  2. LT said:

    Ugh! No more ERs for the Bieners. Maybe you can go back to the days when your vacations meant long lay overs in Atlanta :-)

    I hope that Dave is recovering and that you all are sailing off into the sunset soon. xoxo


  3. Kristen said:

    I hope Dave is on the mend. I hope you are able to enjoy the rest of your vacation.


  4. Danielle said:

    Well, with a view like that, who wouldn’t get hopping, right?! Looking forward to seeing a well-mended Dave this weekend!


  5. Nancy said:

    Holy guacamole, you sure know how to have a good time…NOT!!! Hope all is improving rapidly and you enjoy the remainder of those sunsets. Nothing personal but remind me to NEVER go on vacation with you!

    Hugs to all.


  6. Meredith said:

    I said I wanted you to post on your vacation, but creating emergency room drama seems a bit much! I was simply hoping for relaxing stories about books read, castles built, and margaritas drunk on dates with Dave. Dave, get better soon, and please continue with your regularly scheduled vacation.


  7. Meredith said:

    Oh, and be sure to watch out for Kira! She might be next!


  8. Leslie said:

    You Bieners sure know how to make a vacation memorable. You could start a scrapbook with photos and hospital wrist bands! Dave, hope you are feeling better ASAP!


  9. Peggy said:

    WOW! What else needs to be said -so hoping Dave gets a chance to build some sandcastles. Be safe Bieners!


  10. the mama bird diaries said:

    OMG. OMG. That is crazy. All of it. Hope Dave is healing well. xo


  11. Kristin said:

    Oh no…Hope you’re feeling better Dave! Maybe if Daphne didn’t write a blog, your family could be more boring–

    Rest assured, your plants are getting water…

    xoxo


  12. Brenda said:

    Wow Daphne, and I thought being stranded in the Poconos due to hail damaged planes in Denver sucked. Hang in there! :)


  13. Ruth Becker said:

    I’m shocked, surprised, dumbfounded–When did all this happen? I have been away from the computer for a while, a long while apparently and things have happened. Where are you? I assume Dave is in a hospital away from Colorado–is that right? Were you traveling? And the Slade members? Going back over your recent messages to see what I missed– and beating myself for being out of circulation. Think I let old age get the better of me for a while. Why is Dave being kept for so long?Oh gosh–Dave will get better soon–and thank God, you haven’t lost your sense of humor.