Kohlrabi, Princess Warrior
Warning to the faint-at-heart: This post contains terrifying images of unfamiliar roughage…
Q–How are we supposed to eat local, encourage the kids to consume their veggies, and support the efforts of small organic farms?
A—Join a CSA!
A CSA? What is that? Give me a sec, I always mix up the acronym. It’s Communal Sex At last. No, that’s not it. Crazy Seventies Afro? Nope, wait, I got it: It’s Community Supported Agriculture, and here’s the gist: They grow it, good and green and healthy, and we eat it. No questions asked. No veggie-virgins allowed.
We signed up with Monroe Organic Farms in February. Then we wrung our worried hands as we read farm tales rife with predators in chicken coops and icy frost on cucumbers until at long last it was time. Eagerly the girls and I went to collect our first infusion of straight-up born-in-the-dirt vitamin goodness. While the visions in my head of lettuce, potatoes, and carrots were not exactly dancing, I’ll admit it, I’m a dork. I was pretty darn excited to gather our bounty.
Then suddenly, the sky darkened, a cold wind howled around our ankles. Horror! Yikes…this tumbled out onto my kitchen counter:
Run away! Save yourselves!
Voracious vegetable on the loose!
I took a step back–this was highly unusual. Would the aliens that hatched it be back to claim it? Surely they’d be displeased to learn we had consumed their freakish love child. Better I just coax it back into the bag.
No wait, I’m tougher than that. I, who has collected urine samples from a 2-year-old, can surely handle this. Breathe in, breathe out. Do not let the children smell my fear. I am an intrepid explorer bent on providing my family with nourishment in the wild (you haven’t seen my kitchen.) I am an explorer, determined to unearth new food sources for a struggling planet.
I bravely smiled at the, um, purple thingy, and then I consulted the paper that accompanied our order. Yes, snap peas, I recognize those. Lettuce, check. Onions, yup, I know onions.
Ah-hah, here it is: Kohlrabi. This no-eyed, many-legged flying purple people eater goes by the name Kohlrabi, Princess Warrior. Here she was, in my kitchen, ready to, gulp, be eaten. Ok then, here we go.
I scoured web sites in search of answers, while the girls enthusiastically devoured the entire bag of uber-sweet sugar snap peas. Maybe this vegetable thing would work out after all. I swear their happy munching was accompanied by song.
“Mother dear, might we have yet another snap pea, please?”
Yes, my darlings, you may. Enjoy your veggies. Just remember to save room for our new friend Kohlrabi.
(So what happened with the kohlrabi? My brave, brave eater. We ate it alright. Here is what we made.)